bed time

Hello!

Lately I've been getting myself in the habit of going to sleep late. I mean really late, like 3am. This is because it's not only quite fun to stay up and do random things, but also I can do many a random things when my parents are away, which they currently are. This means, dancing and music at 1am, food at 2am, and cleaning the house in the middle of the night. It also serves as a major distraction from the fact that I am essentially going to be alone for the next week. The good thing about staying up late when you are lonely, is that you wake up so late that half your day is gone. Which somehow seems to make time flow much quicker.

Today I woke up at 1pm from an awesome dream about being lost in some sort of ghetto somewhere and meeting someone who adored me so much that they became my personal body guard (they also happened to be very good looking) and protecting me from thieves and even took a bullet for me.

Going to bed now as I have an acupuncture appointment at noon tomorrow! can't wait :D

I want a job so badly!

Getting a job isn't easy at all. At least that's what I thought before today. I spent my morning on Gumtree looking in the jobs sections. Found some pretty interesting things, but mostly there were links to those questionnaire sites that give you like 50p for every hours you spend on it. To be honest I did sign up but it will probably not contribute much to my finances and a lot to my email inbox.

And then there was this guy who straight away wanted to give me a job. Imagine my surprise! He wanted to give me, a poor inexperienced student with serious energy level deficiencies, a job. So he sends me information about the company and I read it, I watch a few videos he sends me and then I realise that this isn't a real job. It's a confusing network marketing thing and I have no idea what to do or how to do it. It's a company which wants you to recruit members and sell their products, but you don't have to sell their products you can just recruit members but somehow still be paid and it gives you security and flexibility and make your dreams come true and blah blah blah... Meh. This guy really wants me and I kind of already said yes without really knowing what I was saying yes to. I have to give him a ring so we can have a "ten minute chat" about stuff. It all sounds a little bit dodgy.

Oh btw look at this pea and ham soup I ate yesterday, that looks dodgy too...

Riddle

What's an invisible, chronic, illness/disease/condition/health impairment which causes constant tiredness among with many other symptoms, can cause complete immobility, has no cure, has different names, is often misdiagnosed or unrecognised, and sometimes not even believed to be real?

Chronic fatigue syndrome or M.E


OK. Here goes! My very first blog. What am I blogging about? ME. of course (see what I did there?) but also a persistent part of me which has controlled most of my days in the past year. Call it whatever you want to call it. It is there but you can't see it. Nothing too exciting, just a boring, misunderstood and frustrating part of my life which won't go away. It makes me want to lie down, sleep, sit, stare, and do the bare minimum. I've never been a "bare minimum" person but that's just it, it's like the whole purpose of the illness is to flip my whole life as I knew it on it's head. This is why I'm inside on a Saturday night and why I have been the week before, and the one before that...

I will keep this blog as a diary of my experiences and maybe it will help me become a better person and more aware of what I have to be grateful for. I have to keep reminding myself that every negative brings positives. Everything in life is a cycle, I think women understand this more than men! I am aiming to ride this out however long it will take. AND have fun with it, learn with it, be patient with it, take advantage of it, become best friends with it. HA I know that sounds ridiculous. But actually, it is the logical thing to do, why struggle to go against something, when you can relax and go with it? Of course I'm not talking about physically, just mentally!
As many people know, part of this illness is the feeling of being completely useless, everyday is a struggle. But it has really opened my eyes to things I never ever would have stopped to appreciate. It has been a struggle that's for sure, that's why I think my next life will be a piece of cake, not even that, my next life will be the cherry on top of the cake!

So I'm trying to learn more about it, I've placed a bid on an eBay book called "beating fatigue", I'll let you know if it's any good.